[Review] Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 4th edition

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day, my good buddy Scotty the Dwarf stops by for a visit. He shows up bare-chested and with a giant orange mohawk, which meant only one thing: There was a new edition of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay in town.

“Y’know, Scotty,” I says, leaning back in my chair, “I’ve always had me a soft spot for WFRP. Great dark fantasy setting. But those rules in the first two editions just never did it for me. And that third edition went way off the rails.”

“Well, yer in luck, laddie,” he says. “I happen t’know that the fourth edition of WFRP cleans up all the nonsense and gets right down to the Troll-slaying goodness.”

“Speaking of Troll Slayers,” I says, “the look suits you. I’ll bet you really lay your enemies low.”

“Ye’d best be glad I’m not a Smartass Slayer, laddie…”

[Review] Punktown

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day this fella walks into my office, grinnin’ from ear to ear.

No, I mean literally. His mouth stretched from one ear to the other.

“So… what are you supposed to be?” I says.

“A Choom.”

“Gesundheit”

“No,” he says, “I’m a Choom. We’re the natives of the planet Oasis, home to the city of Paxton, better known as Punktown.”

“I see,” I says. “And why should I care about Punktown?”

“Oh, lots of reasons,” he says. “You’ve got a futuristic setting with aliens (like me), mutants, robots, clones, and even Lovecraftian horrors, using Call of Cthulhu 6th edition and Basic Roleplaying.”

“That does sound promisin’,” I says. “Want to talk some more about it over a glass of whiskey?”

“Oh, no,” he says. “I’ve gotta get going. I’m telling everyone about Punktown!”

“Well, you do have a big mouth.”

[Review] Grimmgard

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day my buddy Scotty the Dwarf came by for a visit to my office. Thing is, he ditched his usual grimy armor and battle axe for some really fancy new duds and one serious hand cannon. What gives, I wanted to know?

“Laddie, today I’m here to talk to ye about Grimmgard,” he says. “In Grimmgard, I’m one of the Dwarven. We’re the sophisticated, amiable types. Got damned fine technology, too.”

“So you aren’t the short-tempered ones?” I says.

“Don’t start, laddie…” he says.

“Well, if you’re the sophisticated fellas, where does that leave the Elves?” I says.

“No Elves,” he says. “But there are Ogres, and Beastfolk, and these wee mushroom gnomes, and a lot more besides. And they have all sorts o’ technology, from airships and trains to plasma rifles and teleporters.”

“Sounds good,” I says. “I’ll get to it shortly.”

“I’m warnin’ ye, laddie…”

[Review] Torg Eternity: The Living Land Sourcebook

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day I’m sittin’ at my desk goin’ through my review copies, when I hear a knock.

At the window.

I go check it out, and what do I see there? A lizard-man ridin’ a brontosaurus.

Now, as it happens, this wasn’t all that unexpected. See, I’d just recently wrapped up a Torg Eternity gig, and I knew that a sourcebook for the Living Land, their prehistoric reality, would be comin’ down the pike pretty soon.

Speakin’ of pikes, the lizard guy had a nasty-looking plant-spear in one hand. Fortunately, he had the sourcebook in the other.

“So,” I says as the lizard guy climbed through the window, “I gotta tell ya, I’ve been lookin’ forward to this one. The old Living Land didn’t do much for me, but the new one with its Law of Wonders sounds like everything but the kitchen sink can show up there.”

“There issss no kitchen ssssink,” Mr. Lizard agrees, “but there issss a refrigerator.”

A fridge in the Living Land? This I had to see…

[Review] Torg Eternity

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day I answer a knock on my office door, and I see an elf, a ninja, a masked mystery man, a werewolf, a cyberpunk, and a lizard man.

Which meant just one thing: Torg was back in town.

Now, I’ll be the first to tell ya: I loved me some Torg and its multi-genre gonzo craziness… but it always had its problems. Don’t you worry, though. I got right on the case.

“So!” I says to the ninja. “You still got a glass jaw?”

“Nope!” he says, givin’ himself a little sock to the jaw. “Solid as a rock. That’s been fixed in Torg Eternity.”

“‘Torg Eternity‘, eh?” I says. “Interesting… So, lizard man, is there anything to do in your home turf besides getting lost in a fog?”

“Oh, yes!” he says. “That’s been fixed, too. Now there are any number of wonders to discover in the Living Land!”

“Huh,” I says. Maybe there was somethin’ to this Torg Eternity.

I couldn’t help but imagine the Possibilities.

[Review] Westward

 

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day I hear a knock. On my wall.

I go outside, and what do I see?

A 15′ steam mech. Driven by a cowboy.

“Howdy, pardner!” he says. “I done moseyed up on ol’ Bessie here to git you to review Westward, the steampunk Western roleplaying game!”

“A steampunk Western game?” I says. “Okay, I can get behind that. But I gotta ask: What’s a cowboy know about building a steam mech?”

“Shoot, ain’t nuthin’ to it,” he says. “Well, ‘cept all the math. ‘Specially the decimals.”

“The decimals?”

“Yep!” he says. “Always gotta be worried ’bout the last roundup.”

[Review] Victorious

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day there’s a knock at my office door, and it’s Sherlock Holmes. That’s right, the Sherlock Holmes. Deerstalker hat, pipe, the works.

I ask him what brings him by today.

“Elementary!” he says. “I’ve come by today for a review of Victorious!”

“Okay,” I says. “So what’s Victorious?”

“Elementary!” he says. “Victorious is a roleplaying game about Victorian superheroes!”

“Victorian superheroes?” I says. “So why’d they send you by with this gig? You ain’t exactly a superhero.”

“Elementary!” he says. “Why, with my exceptional mind and extraordinary skills, not to mention the fact that I am a remarkable physical specimen, I am easily a match for that bat fellow you Colonials are so fond of.”

“Uh-huh,” I says. “And where’d you get to be such an all-around amazing guy?”

“In elementary school, of course!”

[Review] Of Dreams and Magic

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day a superhero walks into my office — cape, underwear on the outside, the whole nine yards.

“Let me guess,” I says, “You want me to review a superhero game.”

“Huh?” he says. “Oh, this!” He looks down at himself. “This is just my Animus.”

“Your what?”

“My Animus. My dream form.”

“Okaaay…” I says. I’d seen this type before. Best to humor’em. “So what’s the job?”

I’ll be damned if he doesn’t break out a pouch full of herbs and chalk and rat skulls. Before I can say a word, the guy does a Voodoo ritual right there on my desk. And when he’s done, there’s a rulebook sittin’ there. Of Dreams and Magic, it says.

“…Was that your superpower?” I says.

“Oh, no,” he says. “That’s just some magic I picked up along the way. Here, I’ll give you the PDF copy, too.”

He proceeds to pull a freakin’ datajack outta his skull and plug it into my trusty laptop.

“What in the Hell kinda game is this?” I says.

“Like the title says, it’s about dreams and magic,” he says.

If this is what this guy’s dreams are like, I think to myself, I know someone who’s been hittin’ the sauce before bedtime.

Anyway, here’s the review.

[Review] The Singularity System

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day a Gladius light starfighter with Handling 3, Mobility 3, Tactical Speed 1000, Hull 20, Armor 8, Plasma Torpedo Launcher (Centerline), Top Mounted Pulse Laser Turret, Systems 3, ReAct -10, Fire Control System, Crew Protection, Hardening 5, and Shields 20 lands outside my office.

The pilot hops out, and when he takes off his helmet, I see that it’s Devon Oratz of the End Transmission Games crew. I invite him inside, and he tells me he’s got a review gig for me: The Singularity System, an all-purpose science fiction roleplaying game.

“All-purpose?” I says. “Well, it had better have aliens and cybernetics and psionics and spaceships.”

“Well,” he says, “most of the aliens and the cybernetics and psionics are in our supplements — the rules modules. But boy, do we have spaceships! Mechs, too! And loads of other types of vehicles! Here, take a look!”

Turns out he was right. He shows me pages and pages of vehicles.

I tell him that I’d give it a go, but I warn him that I’m not one for readin’ page after page of starship specs.

I couldn’t say much for his ride, either. Everybody knows the Gladius ain’t got nothing on the Dragonfly starfighter with Handling +1, Mobility 3, Tactical Speed 500, Hull 30, Armor 10, Turbolaser (Center Line), Belly Mounted Turret (Pulse Laser Turret), Two Rocket Pods, Six hardpoints, System 6, ReAct -10, Fire Control System, Hardening 6, Shields 60, Chaff 8, ECM, and Damage Control.

[Review] Yggdrasill

Introduction

The name’s Davenport. I review games.

So the other day I answer a knock on my office door, and who’s standing there?

A Viking. With a shield and an axe.

And glasses.

“Hullo,” the Viking says. “Andrew Peregrine, line developer, at your service. I’m here to tell you about Yggdrasill, the fantasy game of Norse adventure!”

Turns out he was a Viking with glasses and a Limey accent.

“Your helmet doesn’t have horns,” I point out. ‘Cause it didn’t.

The Limey Viking chuckles. “Well, two points: First, I’m dressed as a Norseman, but not as a Viking. All Vikings were Norsemen, but not all Norsemen were Vikings.

“And second, Vikings didn’t have helmets with horns. That’s a myth.”

“You mean like them worshippin’ Odin?”

“No, that was real.”

“Odin was real?”

“No, Odin was a myth.”

“…A real myth?”

“Yes. And in Yggdrasill, Norse myths are real.”

“So in Yggdrasill, Odin is real”

“Yes.”

“But Vikings still didn’t have horns.”

“No. That myth is a myth.”

“…Okay. So Yggdrasill is a game of Norse adventure with myths that are real.”

“Precisely!”

“But Vikings were never horny.”

“That is not what I said!”

Sheesh. There’s no pleasin’ some people.

Anyway, here’s the review.