The name’s Davenport. I review games.
So the other day I hear a loud knock at my office door. When I answer it, I see a great big bald pointy-eared bruiser covered from head to foot in tattoos and carryin’ a big whoppin’ two-handed sword. So right off the bat, I have him pegged as a Thrall — a magically-bred warrior from the fantasy game Talislanta. Yes sir, there’s only one thing that looks like a Thrall, and that’s a Thrall.
“Hello,” he says. “I’m a Vandar.”
“Okay…” I says. “Well, you sure look like a Thrall to me.”
“Ah,” he says, “That is because the Vandar are the ancestors of the Thralls.”
“Ancestors? Okay, that makes sense then. What brings you by today?”
“I am here with a review copy of Talislanta: the Savage Land.”
“You’re speakin’ my language. I love me some Talislanta. What’s the ‘Savage Land’ bit, though?”
“The Savage Land is Talislanta’s distant past,” he says, “shortly after the Great Disaster that laid waste to the world.”
“Post-apocalyptic Talislanta?” I says. “Okay, you’ve got my interest.”
“Excellent,” he says. “But just in case, I have brought you this…”
He dumps a big bag of gold coins and gems on my desk.
“That’s… a lot more than I usually get for a reviewing gig,” I says, eyein’ the pile of goodies.
“Such things are worthless to us in the Savage Land,” he says. “All that matters is survival.”
“Well then!” I says, sweepin’ the loot into my desk drawer, “What we need around this place is a lot more survivin’.”