The name’s Davenport. I review games.
So I’m straightenin’ up my desk — the maid was off that day, onna counta she don’t exist — when in barges a Colonial Marine.
“Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!” the grunt says. “The ultimate badass is here with a review copy of the Alien RPG! That’s ‘RPG’ as in ‘roleplaying game,’ not ‘rocket-propelled grenade,’ although both of those things are $%&#in’ awesome!”
“Alien, huh?” I says. “Good series of movies, but how many times are players gonna wanna go on another bug hunt?”
“That’s the beauty of it, man!” he says. “The guy behind this baby knows all the secrets about the movie settings and puts together one badass $%&#in universe! You can go up against countries, corporations, pirates, low-lifes, androids, low-life pirate androids, and different sorts of aliens. But you want Xenomorphs? This one’s got the scoop on’em like no other!”
“Huh,” I says. “Now that you mention it, there is a thing or two that I’ve always wondered about those movies. Sounds like this might be just the book to tell me about’em.”
“$%&#in’ A, man!”
“Alrighty then, I’m on board.” I take the book from’im. “Is there anythin’ else?”
“That’s it, man. Game over, man. Game over!”